Friday, April 3, 2009

After and Before: The Gigastar

Dame Edna Everage, philanthropist, mentor, author, entrepreneur, pioneering feminist theorist, diva, and international sex bomb;

Mrs. Norman Everage, at home in Moonee Ponds, 1955. Spooky, isn't it, where time and destiny can take one, possums?


  1. I have rarely laughed as hard as I did at one of the Dame's shows on Broadway some years ago.

    ...although the intermission at a jaw-droppingly amateur (and truly tragic) performance of Follies at the Dicapo Opera Theatre comes close.

  2. No! DiCapo did not do Follies, did they? That must have been quite a night in the theatre.

    Now that I think of it, though, I would pay top dollar to see Dame Edna take on the Yvonne DeCarlo/Ann Miller role. Imagine her Carlotta belting out "I'm Still Here (Possums)"!

  3. Good times and bum times,
    I've seen them all
    And, possums,
    I’m still here

    Plush velvet sometimes
    Sometimes just Foster's - it's beer,
    but I’m here

    I've glued the rhinestones on my specs
    Strewn gladioli, turned down sex
    Seen Selma H. disappear
    but I’m here

    I've hawked some makeup,
    shilled for a company called MAC,
    but I’m here
    Vanity Fair breakup
    take your advice column back,
    but I’m here

    Vegemite sandwiches in Moonie Ponds
    Watched while Madge Alsop sold war bonds
    In the depression was I depressed?
    Nowhere near,
    I bagged Sir Norman Everage
    And I'm here

    I've been through Valmai,
    Clifford and Kenny's affair,
    and I'm here
    Dear Bruce 'n' Joylene,
    Lois, wisteria hair,
    and I'm here

    I got through Mel G's drunken blow,
    Bridesmaid Madge Alsop,
    Russell Crowe
    Had heebie-jeebies for dear Kylie Minogue
    I got through Cruise and Kidman,
    and I’m here

    I've gotten through Norman's testicular murmur
    Gee, that was fun and a half
    When you've been through someone's testicular murmur
    Anything else is a laugh

    Been through Barry Humphries,
    I’ve been through Beverly Hills,
    and I’m here
    Kookaburras and gum trees,
    rest cures, religion and pills,
    and I’m here

    Been called an Outback Aussie Fool,
    got through it out back by my pool
    I should've opened an acting school,
    …and a bar
    Still someone said, "GigaStar",
    so I'm here

    Purple mink one day,
    Just can’t resist its allure,
    but I'm here
    Top billing Monday,
    out on the Dame’s Royal Tour,
    but I'm here

    First you're an Aussie housewife name,
    Then Kenny's mother,
    then The Dame
    Then you career from career to career
    I’ll write my gorgeous memoirs,
    and I'm here

    I've gotten through, "Hey, Edna, aren't you spooky?
    Wow, what a looker you are!"
    Or better yet, "Sorry, it's just kind of spooky
    To meet such a huge GigaStar!"

    Good times and bum times,
    I've seen 'em all
    And, possums,
    I'm still here

    Plush velvet sometimes
    Sometimes just Foster's - it's beer,
    but I'm here

    I've run the gamut, ‘cause I care
    Three cheers and quick sticks,
    Where is Cher?
    I got through all of last year,
    and I'm here

    Possums, at least I was there,
    and I'm here
    Look who's here,
    I'm still here!