Searchin'

Over in his part of the world, dear, sweet, demure Shirley will occasionally consult the oracles and review just how it comes to be that people drop on by - that is, what Google queries lead hapless gawkers into his domain.

There have been some classics ("amywinehouse is a strange cow" being about the cleanest one, not to mention one I can wholeheartedly endorse), but few will ever beat the classic simplicity - not to mention the unspoken, heartbreaking yearning on the part of one who would search for - "fat man ballet".

In any case, he has inspired me to rummage around, now that the Café's been up and running for a couple of months, to discover whence come my own Gentlemen Callers.

It's not pretty.

In fact, I would never have dreamed that there were so many people interested in seeing Marisa Berenson nude, which turns out to be the principal leitmotif of strangers popping by.

Other unexpected angles: "princess haya's diet plan" (girl does look good, but all I did was snark about her husband at Ascot), not to mention "history of the cairo rotary club" (sorry, just mentioned in passing that they meet at the divine Gezira Palace while far more characteristically chatting about a French Empress).

But then there's the one that opens up a whole potential world of Hollywood fetishism:

"Miss Colbert" paddle

I'm just not going there. What did poor Claudette ever do to you?

But I will gleefully lead future searchers utterly astray:

Here she is, boys! Here she is, world! Miss Marisa Berenson! Nude, nude, NUDE!

Yes! It's Schiaparelli's grand-daughter, Cabaret's Marisa Berenson!

Oh, yeah, I know it's a scam. But in that headdress, who cares if she's draped in a little chiffon?