Up is Down, Black is White...

...And Hello Kitty is not a cat.  At the risk of continuing the feline trend earlier this week, I feel obliged to note how thoroughly my mind has been blown by this startling news from the good people at Sanrio.

Marlene, Norma, Joan, Loretta...and Margaret?

So, with our move ever more imminent, I'm responding in a calm, measured, and practical way - not by any kind of rational planning, mind you, or anything like actual preparation.  No, I'm mostly leafing through some of the higher works of literature that form such a feature - such a heavy, enormous, infinitely packable feature - of life chez nous.

Monday Mystery: Who's That Woman?

Fame was still in the future for this pretty lady when she posed for a fashion feature in her hometown paper.

Mystery Challenger, Sign in Please!

What's My Line? really has me inspired...

And for My Next Number...

"Variations in the Style of Liberace on 'Rocky Racoon'"...

Sometimes you look at pictures - such as this intriguing snap from 1955 - and realize anew that the past is, indeed, another country.

Such Devoted Sisters

I had a feeling that our latest Mystery Picture wouldn't prove too mysterious to the Café's clever Gentle Readers, but I thought it was such a charming image that it deserved an airing nontheless. 

Dear Norma chimed in first, and quite accurately, to confirm that the two little girls in their Lewis Carroll-esque finery were in fact the glamourous pair seen above sharing a little all-too-rare together time.  Remarkably, both Miss Joan Fontaine and Miss Olivia de Havilland are still with us; perhaps it is the sheer strength of their celebrated enmity that keeps them going.  Their dislike apparently goes all the way back to their earliest childhood, meaning that it's entering its tenth decade - surely something approaching a sororal record.

However they feel about each other, I quite like knowing that such fabulous creatures still share this sordid world with us, and I can't help but think that when they go - they and their few surviving peers and colleagues - we will have lost something rather special.  And I still kind of hope, against all hope, that just maybe we'll get them back together one more time, Melanie and the second Mrs. de Winter...

Mystery Girls:Two for the Price of One

I'd almost guarantee you know this pair of pretty Victorian maidens, so demure in their capelets and crinolines.  Does anyone care to guess either or both of their identities?

Mystery Revealed: A Woman of Hollywood

She appeared in more Best Picture winners - five - than any other performer, and if you have a favorite studio picture made between 1923 and 1964, there's a fairly good chance she's in it.  It's probably safe to say that in sheer number of titles - well more than 700 - she's the most prolific actress in films.

And yet is really wasn't fair to show you a still of this particular Mystery Lady and expect anyone to recognize her, especially as a lovely but not particularly distinctive young woman, one who, as various Gentle Readers noted, bore a passing resemblance to everyone from Helen Twelvetrees to Barbara Stanwyck.  She really didn't come into her own until she was a lady of a certain age, and even then, closeups were few and far between.

She is, as many I suspect will have guessed by now, not your ordinary Movie Star.  She really, in truth, wasn't a star at all (which is in itself remarkable for someone who appeared in more than 700 movies, don't you think?).  No, she's the woman fondly remembered as Queen of the Dress Extras, Miss Bess Flowers.

Who?  Well, she's the elegant lady who "is so happy for you, Eve," as Miss Harrington receives her Sarah Siddons award in All About Eve.  Decades earlier, she's a racy artist's model in A Woman of Paris and at the other end of her career a regular in the background of Perry Mason.  She arrives at premieres; she decorates nightclubs and your ritzier private parties; she shops, travels in style, and only occasionally slums it as a secretary or nurse.

She was tall, which helps in finding her in crowds, and by the 40s she sported a distinctive silver 'do that stands out beautifully in color.  Back in the days when Manhattan was spotted with theatres showing old movies, you would sometimes hear, out of the darkness, a particularly avid fan give a pleasantly startled "oh!" or even a pleased "Bess!" when she'd pass by, stop to greet the leading man, or even on rare, special occasions (as in Eve) deliver a gracious line.

Here she is, entertaining friends at a swank San Francisco restaurant; just beyond those flowers, Jimmy Stewart is catching his first sight of Kim Novak, in Vertigo.  Things happen in restaurants when Bess is around - she was there when Mildred Pierce decided to become a waitress, and when Mighty Joe Young decided to run amok.

She's looking - for Bess - a little more hard-boiled here, as a society matron at a fashion show, from the big "Girl Hunt" number in The Bandwagon.  Given that there are a bevy of identically clad ladies in this number, presumably this is one time that she wasn't called on to supply a costume from her extensive personal wardrobe.

This is an especially lovely little Bess moment, from the Doris Day picture Lucky Me (that's Doris, in blue).  Bess enters from the right in her dainty pale rose shopping outfit.  She pauses in front of the highly apropos "Flowers" sign, is surprised by some falling water on her neat parasol, and gives a marvelous moue of surprise and distaste as Doris moves off.  One has to think there might have been a fond directorial hand at work here, giving Miss Flowers a little special recognition.

Bess's filmography, beyond the plethora of familiar titles (and they do dazzle - It Happened One Night, Imitation of Life, Judgment at Nuremberg, Rear Window, Singin' in the Rain, Humoresque  - twelve Crawford pictures, actually, all told! - Gilda, The Lady Eve, A Day at the Races... you get the idea) is the sheer volume of product pumped out by Hollywood during the years that she worked.  For every well-known old friend, there are half-a-dozen or more utterly forgotten names -  You Can't Buy Luck? Black Sheep? Private Buckaroo? Hold That Blonde?  They sound more like parodies of old movie titles than anything, but Bess appeared in all of them and doubtless dressed them up in much the same way she did Call Me Madam, To Catch a Thief, and My Man Godfrey (as Carnival Guest, Nightclub Patron, and Mrs. Merriweather, respectively).

So, even though despite best efforts all around, no one guessed her name, now you have, if you like, a new little hobby.  When sitting down in front of TCM or your newest DVD from the Warners Archive, keep a sharp eye on things and you too can become a Bess Spotter.  She's always out there, alighting from her limousine, looking carefree at a ladies' luncheon, or looking on admiringly as the principals dance, flirt, or otherwise try to steal focus in the foreground.  Have fun...

Mystery Guest, Sign in Please

This handsome woman may not seem immediately familiar, but I'm willing to bet you've seen her in some of old Hollywood's best-loved classics.  Willowy, worldly, and for decades one of filmdom's best-dressed ladies, she's long been one of my favorites.  Any guesses?

A Girl Like That

Although life has turned into a whirlwind of travel and unexpected dentistry, I don't want to lose sight of our little contest.  I'm happy to note that after a couple of false starts, you Gentle Readers came through and discovered the secret identity of our chipper pigtailed waif.

She is indeed the child born Rosa Dolores Alverío, but known to the world (after her own false start as Rosita) as Rita Moreno.  She's seen here, on this the nearer end of her long career, working a pair of lounging pajamas as only a veteran of MGM could do.  Hers is a varied career, taking in everything from a supporting part in an Esther Williams epic (Pagan Love Song) to a stint as my second-favorite Rockford Files Expendable Girlfriend (first place being reserved, as it so often is around here, for the divine Sheree North).*  She's played Thai in The King and I and (rather more authentically) Puerto Rican in West Side Story, but that only hints at the ethnic diversity that Hollywood threw at her, from (India) Indian in Father Knows Best to generically ethnic in any number of now-forgotten film and TV moments (let titles like The Fabulous Señorita and Garden of Evil tell the tale - not to mention Ma and Pa Kettle on Vacation, in which she's apparently the mysterious - and uncredited - Soubrette).  And she did Singin' in the Rain (which came out sixty years ago, in case you're not feeling old enough today), which has to count for something.

In any case, all congratulations to the lucky winner, the mysterious Snappychuck, who beat out suggestions sensible (dear MJ's Lena Horne, who I thought might come up in this conversation) and less so (whatever madness the ineffable Thombeau was going on about).  I wish I could say there were fabulous prizes, but I can offer nothing more satisfying than the opportunity to appreciate the dressing-room poise of La Moreno - from roses to bracelets (and everything in between) - she is superb.  You don't get to be an EGOT without knowing a thing or two about The Pose, after all, do you?

* Hmmm and Oh, dear.  I just went and checked, and Sheree North doesn't seem to have done The Rockford Files.  Why then do I have a distinct memory of her playing, recurrently, one of his Hooker-with-a-Heart-of-Gold girlfriends?  It seems like every other actress of a suitable age in the mid-to-late-70s did an ep or two (we're talking everyone from Mrs. Bogart to Linda Dano, after all) - how did they miss Sheree?  I don't care; in my mind she did, and she was damn good. Rita was a Rockford doxy, too, and nabbed an Emmy (one of two) for it.

Junior Miss-tery

Well, here's a familiar face, albeit at an unfamiliar time in her life.  Don't let those bobbysocks fool you, though - this pretty teen is already well on the way to the career that's kept her going ever since. I think she's cute as a bug in her two braids and pennyloafers.

The question is: who's that girl?  

La Publicité!

Despite an onslaught of unrelentingly creative guesses, ranging from Sophie Tucker to the Queen Mother (and including the popular favorite, the highly likely Mr. Peenee), the identity of our Edwardian mystery lady remained unsolved. She was, of course, the roguishly charming matron seen above, Miss Mary Boland. With no prizes to hand out, it just means wee drinkies and radio cowboys in the bar car for everybody.

Boland's was a fine career, encompassing everything from turn-of-the-century Broadway to a solid place in moviegoers' hearts for more than two decades after the her appearances in early talkies. As in her best-remembered role as Flora, Countess de Lave in The Women, she generally played vague, funny ladies, frequently of the upper classes.

In her last picture, an obscure 1950 indie noir curiosity called Guilty Bystander, she apparently played against type as "Smitty," a flophouse manager. Sadly, despite being third-billed, she didn't make the poster. From the look of it, she could only have helped.

Who's That (Gibson) Girl?

Anybody recognize this buxom, severely laced young lovely? I certainly didn't at first glance...

3 Girls 1

Sorry, carissimi, for the little hiatus 'round these parts, but life is unendingly boring and deeply practical and all sorts of things that keep one from Thinking Good Thoughts.

In the meantime, why not consider the mysterious identity of the versatile young lady we see above? She's someone I know many of us adore, but in these guises I find her nearly unrecognizable. I'll be interested to see if you do, too...

She Never Looked Lovelier

The jury's in, and the mystery's solved. Thanks to the mysterious "Anonymous" and seconded by dear normadesmond, it can be revealed that the Dark Lady of two days ago is none other than the favorite blonde of a Certain Newspaper Magnate, the resplendent (if at times chinny) Miss Marion Davies.

Hearst Marion loved disguise roles, and this one was perhaps her most ridiculous daring. In her melodramatic 1934 opus Operator 13, Marion assayed the role of a plucky Union spy during the Civil War, one who gathers information while disguised as her own Octoroon (now there's a word one doesn't, and good riddance, hear a great deal of these days) maid. Not until Joan Crawford (whom Marion really does resemble, at least in the picture's stills) corked up for Torch Song did Hollywood's ever-precarious racial politics go further out on a (star-studded) limb.

And now, children, I have to run - they're calling my (next) plane. More soon...

Pretty Lady

I'm honestly not sure if this is an easy one or not - but I'm sure, darlings, you'll quickly let me know. Anybody recognize this dusky charmer?

A Journey to a Star...

...began with a tentative guess, and then a ringing affirmation. Yes, we have two winners of our latest mystery-lady challenge. Dear Normadesmond noted something charlottegreenwoodische about our fur-cloaked enigma, but it was the enigmatic MC who jumped in with a definite and entirely accurate answer. She is indeed that diva of the Fox backlot, the doyenne of the speciality high-kick number, Miss Charlotte Greenwood.

Mabrouk, as we say in these parts, to them both, and also to all who chimed in - Irene Ryan is certainly plausible, Helen Mirren's grandmother distinctly amusing, and dear Bill's offering of La Stanwyck is at least a sporting try.

Above, by the bye, we see fabulous Charlotte in the final moments of what is very likely my favorite film of all time, The Gang's All Here, in which she is joined by the entire cast - which ranges from Carmen Miranda to Benny Goodman and back again -who appear as floating, bobbing heads to sing one more round of the picture's hit song, whose name forms the title above. Aficionados of this landmark in cinema need to head immediately over to Shadowplay (whence I cribbed the pic) for a savagely funny takedown of this number.

Haven't You Met?

I do believe you've encountered this regal lady, splendid in her furs, in these parts before - but do you recall her name?

(Belated) Birthday Girl: Mystery Revealed

Yes, it's true! The elegant and refined young lady whose picture we posted to tease with you a couple of days ago is none other than that hoyden of '60s TV turned theatrical staple, Miss Jo Anne Worley. She had a birthday this past Sunday, which is of little matter to one so ageless, but even so worthy of celebration.

As for the guesses - well, she really did change a great deal between high school and Laugh In, so no one can be blamed for not seeing the latent crazy in her debutante eyes. My favorite stabs at it were Matt Damon (and there really is a resemblance), courtesy of dear Bill, and Kevin's contribution, Big Edie. Raquel Welch was not at all a bad guess, nor Janis Joplin. I do think that Bette Midler, while a gallant attempt, would have meant that the girl in question would have been among the very few subjects in the early '60s to have undergone nasal enlargement.

Still, even though really she came no closer than any of the rest of you, I'm going to go ahead and declare Café newcomer Clare the winner, if only because she said such nice things and I am, as is well known, Greedy for Praise.

In any case, thanks to all for chiming in, and better luck next time!

Who's That Girl?

Anybody care to guess who this demure young thing might be? She's a favorite in these parts, but way back at the beginning of it all, to me at least almost unrecognizable...