Start Spreadin' the News...

Big news on the Rialto, kids - Pia's back, and Manhattan's got her!  Yet another reason to regret our Sandlandian exile, for if only we were back on the other side of the world, we could toddle up to the Big Apple this week and catch That Somewhat Different Bombshell, The Lonely Lady herself, the one and only (and thank goodness for that) Miss Pia Zadora in her first cabaret engagement in yonks.  Not since Edie Beale took the backroom at Reno Sweeney's by storm has there been such an eagerly anticipated gig.  Catch all the details - from no less august a source than The Wall Street Journal - here.

Truth to tell, for someone who's seen the ups and downs she has, Pia sounds like a pretty good egg.  A PickFair-destroying, Golden Globe-buying, Voyage of the Rock Aliens-starring, Jermaine Jackson-dueting, "Clapping Song"-making good egg, true, but after all these years, I suppose that's mostly water under the bridge.  If any Gentle Reader happens to be in town this weekend, please do drop by the Metropolitan Room over on West 22nd Street and give us a full report.  If the simple Pialicity of the occasion doesn't appeal, you might be tempted to know that her gowns (and you can bet there will be plenty) are by Bob Mackie!

Bring Out Your Dead

You know how I resolved a while ago to revisit some of my cabaret/nightclub favorites - those wonderful, witty, wistful tunes that mean so much when sung by Marcovicci, Akers, Mayes, et al?

Yeah, well, this is definitely not one of those. What it is is "(You Bring Out) The Lover in Me," the big Ladies' Room Raveup number from truly one of the least fondly remembered films of the '80s, Voyage of the Rock Aliens. It stars, of course, Pia Zadora, a singer I find fascinating because her voice sounds off-pitch even when, technically, its not. Remarkable. And she's just as talented a dancer, so she's got that going for her, too.

Joining her is someone I think is rather underrated, Alison La Placa (who may here actually have the worst hairdo of the decade, beating out even Stevie Nicks). She later found a kind of fame as Rachel's nympho boss on Friends, but never seems to really have landed in any substantial way. Pity. She's easily the best thing in this number, but that's mostly because she's in so little of it.

Those who were there will remember that VotRA was one of those pictures that was going to be coming out any day now for something like six years; when it finally did, in 1987, it looked even then practically Mesozoic, which didn't help its chances of resurrecting la Zadora's career even as it managed to diminish Ruth Gordon's, despite the fact that she'd been dead for two years.

The telling thing about this song? It's quality is such that apparently it wasn't included in the film's soundtrack album. Imagine how it must feel to have written a song that isn't good enough for the Voyage of the Rock Aliens album - and immediately feel infinitely better about any creative activity you've undertaken lately!

Lady of the Eighties

Pia, clapping. Not to be experienced if you face any intellectual challenges today, as it will eat your brain.

(Later: AUGH! I couldn't remember why this had popped into my mind, and just now realized - it's because Donna posted it last week! I feel like Helen Keller when she got caught up in that childhood plagiarism scandal. But really - can you ever have too much Pia Zadora?)