Medley Madness

It's hard to not to feel at least a little more cheerful in the presence of the divine Josephine, I find. Isn't she just too too too? If you're not grinning helplessly by the Big Finish, I'm not sure we can be friends...

Le Jour de Gloire

Here's a little something to ponder on this festive Gallic holiday:  what does it mean, you suppose, that so many of my favorite French people - these two, the Austrian Woman - aren't even French?  Even their empresses were imports - Joséphine from Martinique and Eugénie from Granada.  Still - Bernhardt, Piaf, or Mistinguett aside - who are more French than they?

Birthday Diva: Black Beauty

She turns up in the damnedest places...

Together as Salt and Pepper, Just as You Should Be

"Two loves have I," she sang, "My country and Paree..."  One day brought those loves together like none other.

Ten Tips on Stardom

1.  Have an instinctive understanding of exactly how to hit your key light - something that never failed the Divine Josephine, even when the spotlight was all she had...

2.  Let Joan Blondell be your guide:  always have a positive approach to your grueling glamour regimen (and never, ever be seen without eye makeup, bangles, pumps, and, when situationally appropriate, an adoring attendant).

3.  Develop a trademark expression; extra credit if it can be variously read as vulnerable and alluring at the same time.  You may not hit the heights that Marilyn reached in no small part thanks to hers, but you have to start somewhere...

4.  Equally, however, you mustn't neglect the more ferocious aspect of divalicity; nothing so incites the fans to adoration as an affect just this side of disdain.  Dame Joan, despite an off-stage attitude of almost superhuman cosiness, was no slouch in this regard on stage.

5.  Never pass up an opportunity to let the boys in the stills gallery have a little fun.  If you can't face the prospect of yet another Arbor Day photo spread, at least don't hesitate to show off your hobbies, however implausible.  I don't for a moment believe that Mary Boland was a devoted ping-pong enthusiast, but it made a nice snap for the weekend rotogravures, no?

6.  However, never forget that glamour is job one.  Audiences forgave Lana everything for the better part of four decades, just because she could so reliably give that look.  It takes practice, kids, especially when you're balancing as much off stage as our Miss Turner here.

7.  Keep good company.  Peers and counterparts always make good press - that's why Jerry was almost always seen with one or preferably more of his girls...

8.  ...and at a certain point, cultivate the next generation.  Joan was smart enough to know that she could get away with that hat as long as she was standing next to the ravishing young Mr. Chamberlain.  Do you suppose she's goosing him even as the picture was snapped? (On a side note, I always think of this particular expression of Joan's as her "Mommie's had her vodka" look - it's her own special version of "Keep it together, Minnelli," as you can practically see the self-will that it's taking to keep her upright.)

9.  Never forget that you're Queen of the Lot, even if that lot is only Universal.  It takes a special moxie to wave at your minions and drive your own personal go-kart, but Doris takes it all in stride.

10.  Finally, and when all else fails - endure.

Cha Cha!

A little lesson from Miss Bakaire on the essentials of fabulousness - a headpiece to die for, a couple of insinuating numbers, and a deathless belief in one's own mythos. Even here, with all the limitations of an early-TV variety special, in Germany yet, Josephine demonstrates why she was one of the very great sensations and, among other things, a matchless dancer...

La Bakaire

Josephine, just because. No one could ever accuse her of having had common sense, but wasn't she lovely?

Masquerade

Miss Debbie Allen impersonates Josephine; Miss Ann Jillian, Mae. It must have been a long and rather trying evening all around.

Actually, I'm afraid they were working; every stitch of those costumes screams "mid-80s TV movie," demonstrating a breathtaking disregard for historical accuracy not seen since the Fox musicals of the 1940s.

La Bakaire

The incomparable Joséphine, at the height of her Ponytail Era. This is what fabulous looks like, darlings, when it is at its peak sublimity.

Ladies and their Tigers (and Spots, and Fluffies...)

What accessory is more versatile, offstage or on, than the right animal? Generations of stars have known it, from Josephine Baker, who heightened her exoticism in Parisian eyes by walking in the Bois with her pet cheetah...


To Kim Novak, whose innate chilliness was only enhanced by the presence of a minatory Siamese..

Joan Crawford's pack of poodles, by contrast, were carefully marshalled to warm up her image (and at least poodles can't inadvertently use wire hangers).

Today, stars still clutch their four-legged friends, although one senses it's in many cases as much for comfort as promotion. Elizabeth Taylor, for heaven's sake, has no need to raise her profile any further, but remains devoted:

It's hard to imagine some stars romping with animals. Nonetheless, most do, at least on film, as in this touching exchange between Miss Golightly and her pet cat, Cat.

I believe there are lessons in each of these images; what they are, I'm not so sure.

Birthday Girls

A very happy birthday to two very different ladies of the stage.

Miss Josephine Baker, who would be 102 today wherever she is now appearing:



And Miss Colleen Dewhurst, a protean force in the theatre and brave enough to be married, twice, to George C. Scott:

I saw Dewhurst twice on stage, both times in vehicles that weren't very good but in which she shone. How many stars today can carry a bad play and make you like it?