Sunday, October 4, 2009

Queens For Just One Day

...And of some mighty strange realms...

Say what you will about the scantiness of jungle fashions - this is one queen who's found a volumizer that really works for her.

As for this one, I have no idea what's going on, but I really, really want to see it. If nothing else, the "proudly presents" is both a jaunty and a slightly pathetic touch.

Another fine release from the good folks at AIP, although I find the theming here a little muddled - is she the Queen of Blood, somehow arachnid, or the centerpiece of a disturbing circus acrobatic act? Perhaps Basil Rathbone knows, but I sure the hell don't.

Here we have one of the screen's less memorable pairings - if they had dumped Reagan for Joan Crawford, that would have been a picture to put Johnny Guitar to shame.

Of course, we couldn't get away without including this one in any roundup of Queens - although I have to say I don't think it holds up terribly well. Fab alternate poster, though, no? And not an outfit I remember, either, although it's been a while.

Here's anothing almost insanely obscure one. You know what I really want to see? Barbara Stanwyck Battle an Army of Savage Midgets. With Joan Crawford as the Terrifying Lady of Snakes.

Any rumours that this is the next Johnny Depp pic should be swiftly put to rest.

As should any idea that this picture is as much fun as either the title or the prospect of the sheer Gaboriness of it. On the other hand it does have the fabulous "I hat zat Qveen!" moment. A line for the ages.

I hate it when the skull-candlestick gets all chatty, don't you? Between that and the visibly bored, dagger-wielding Michael York impersonator there on the right, I'm not encouraged.

After everything from the Amazon to the lands of the undead, the Yukon seems practically as prosaic as - well, as a Stanwyck-Crawfordless Montana. But not nearly as prosaic as Monogram - how did genteel leading lady Irene Rich end up there?

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